just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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