idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
