Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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