Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
