i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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