So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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