Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
