All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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