if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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