Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
