She announced her abortion via fbk
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
