My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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