At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
