In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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