I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
