I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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