How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
