it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
