I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
