I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
