He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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