Porn is love you can see.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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