I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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