Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
