i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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