of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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