I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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