Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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