We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just found puke in my bra..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
