That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
