apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
