New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
