actually, I'm a sock model
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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