On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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