He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
