you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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