Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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