im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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