Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
