you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
