uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
