Girls should come with a carfax report
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
