If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
