The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
