as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
God, I missed his penis.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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