fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
