Yo dont text me then not text me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
