I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
