We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
