Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
